Why Love?
By Jeanne Heileman, Yoga Teacher Trainer
“Birds do it. Bees do it. Let’s fall in love.”
Why?…
In the season of the New Year, and the upcoming holiday of love, Valentine’s Day, it is a great time to take some lessons on love. While love in a romantic relationship is completely amazing, the real test of love is if we can open our hearts in the face of fear and hurt. Darn it, but that is really, really hard.
If you are thinking that I am sounding a bit pollyannaish with my suggestion, I understand. But that’s not where I’m going. After surviving the Holidays and any possible conflict with family and friends (it’s inevitable, the Holidays just do that,) and the time of the shooting in Tucson, AZ, it’s natural to want to react. When we react, we usually do so in a state of fear and anger, which only magnifies the actions that began the conflict, and that spreads it out to a wider reach.
I will venture to write that all anger, all harm, come from a place of fear.
The next time someone hurts your feelings or your ego, pause and instead of seeing that person as a jerk, see where they are so full of hurt themselves that it’s all they have as a form of expression and communication. Pause and instead of feeling their hurt, which will only increase it within you, pause and move over to another part of yourself that has love. Increase your space for love. Do something loving, even if it’s complimenting the person at the sales counter. Send a kind e-mail to someone else. Pay the parking for the car behind you. Put on a nice outfit and fix your hair so you can start to feel good about yourself. Increase the love thoughts and actions around you, starting small and then get bigger and bigger. Do this so that you can eventually send love to the person who hurt you. When you can love them instead of feel anger towards them, you end up being the stronger person.
Nothing can beat love. So, shoot me if I sound like Pollyanna. But it’s true and it helps you face the uncertain.
By Jeanne Heileman, Yoga Teacher Trainer